








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1001 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 83 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 40 matches | ||
| Wingman | 37 matches | ||
| Premier | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 131 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3724 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,813 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2362 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2424 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2662 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2365 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,136,109 of utility $158 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 857 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jack_your_ass | 55% | 40 |
| #2 | .#SchumiLove<3 | 54% | 50 |
| #3 | jNk ΰ«# | 53% | 30 |
| #4 | βπΈΚ³π¬ | 49% | 190 |
| #5 | FaTroll | 49% | 65 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | βπΈΚ³π¬ | 8 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | FaTroll | 7 | 0.0053 |
| #3 | Hubi <3 | 4 | 0.0092 |
| #4 | Jack_your_ass | 3 | 0.0037 |
| #5 | .#SchumiLove<3 | 2 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jNk ΰ«# | 124 | 0.23 | 3 min |
| #2 | βπΈΚ³π¬ | 105 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #3 | .#SchumiLove<3 | 102 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #4 | FaTroll | 69 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #5 | Hubi <3 | 47 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TheSWISSguy | +3.39 | 47 | 62 |
| #2 | groberUnfug | +2.11 | 66 | 68 |
| #3 | Jack_your_ass | +0.85 | 52 | 51 |
| #4 | .#SchumiLove<3 | -0.20 | 44 | 63 |
| #5 | jNk ΰ«# | -0.35 | 56 | 68 |





