








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 425 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 64 matches | ||
| Faceit | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2024 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,682 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 803 | 30% |
| Smokes | 570 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 808 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 501 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $728,685 of utility $194 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 246 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪Pasten Pasha | 61% | 36 |
| #2 | fabu | 57% | 113 |
| #3 | huhu | 56% | 62 |
| #4 | kennySS | 52% | 56 |
| #5 | envy | 50% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪Pasten Pasha | 61% | 36 |
| #2 | fabu | 57% | 113 |
| #3 | huhu | 56% | 62 |
| #4 | kennySS | 52% | 56 |
| #5 | envy | 50% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fabu | 6 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | kennySS | 4 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | ✪Pasten Pasha | 2 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | huhu | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fabu | 545 | 0.23 | 15 min |
| #2 | huhu | 209 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #3 | ✪Pasten Pasha | 93 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #4 | kennySS | 84 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | envy | 18 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fabu | +1.60 | 82 | 70 |
| #2 | ✪Pasten Pasha | +1.09 | 82 | 66 |
| #3 | James Dean | +0.08 | 83 | 34 |
| #4 | kennySS | +0.02 | 74 | 57 |
| #5 | envy | -0.03 | 91 | 55 |





