








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 163 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 239 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 32 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




38 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3105 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,809 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1720 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1562 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 2439 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 2088 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,099,629 of utility $188 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 18 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | amnes1ak | 62% | 47 |
| #2 | Yelloxyyy | 58% | 64 |
| #3 | Zinédine Zidane | 55% | 132 |
| #4 | Mass7z | 53% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | amnes1ak | 62% | 47 |
| #2 | Yelloxyyy | 58% | 64 |
| #3 | Zinédine Zidane | 55% | 132 |
| #4 | Mass7z | 53% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zinédine Zidane | 5 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | Yelloxyyy | 3 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | amnes1ak | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yelloxyyy | 253 | 0.19 | 7 min |
| #2 | amnes1ak | 221 | 0.23 | 5 min |
| #3 | Zinédine Zidane | 167 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #4 | Mass7z | 100 | 0.25 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yelloxyyy | +2.83 | 76 | 59 |
| #2 | amnes1ak | +1.91 | 86 | 64 |
| #3 | NiKolo | +0.71 | 77 | 61 |
| #4 | Mass7z | -1.01 | 88 | 68 |
| #5 | Zinédine Zidane | -1.27 | 73 | 54 |





