








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1181 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 150 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 115 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 96 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 33 matches | ||
| Faceit | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




120 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7142 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,842 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2844 | 22% |
| Smokes | 3008 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 3479 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 3511 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,127,252 of utility $170 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 850 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Pixnum | 53% | 100 |
| #10 | Nyx | 53% | 36 |
| #11 | ✪ Vlad0s ツ | 51% | 90 |
| #12 | TinNeR | 51% | 49 |
| #13 | Doug DimmaDaddy | 48% | 73 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bubls | 27 | 0.0177 |
| #2 | Caped | 23 | 0.0045 |
| #3 | mAGIC | 21 | 0.0273 |
| #4 | Doug DimmaDaddy | 17 | 0.0115 |
| #5 | Kazuto | 16 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Caped | 845 | 0.17 | 21 min |
| #2 | Kazuto | 821 | 0.14 | 17 min |
| #3 | ✪ Vlad0s ツ | 289 | 0.16 | 8 min |
| #4 | comiskey | 247 | 0.24 | 6 min |
| #5 | Solo ツ | 225 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zoom | +2.34 | 90 | 45 |
| #2 | Caped | +2.32 | 71 | 59 |
| #3 | bubls | +1.46 | 85 | 53 |
| #4 | TinNeR | +1.19 | 82 | 67 |
| #5 | Solo ツ | +0.79 | 79 | 55 |





