








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 348 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 124 matches | ||
| Premier | 65 matches | ||
| Faceit | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




114 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5754 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,889 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3995 | 34% |
| Smokes | 2882 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2531 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2481 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $726,501 of utility $82 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 941 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mAGIC | 70% | 64 |
| #2 | Solo ツ | 68% | 22 |
| #3 | The Death Machine Trusty Sniper | 66% | 29 |
| #4 | comiskey | 65% | 106 |
| #5 | Sasquach | 65% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mAGIC | 47 | 0.0350 |
| #2 | Caped | 40 | 0.0103 |
| #3 | Zoom | 23 | 0.0151 |
| #4 | Doug DimmaDaddy | 17 | 0.0235 |
| #5 | comiskey | 13 | 0.0057 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Caped | 703 | 0.18 | 15 min |
| #2 | comiskey | 638 | 0.28 | 16 min |
| #3 | mAGIC | 369 | 0.27 | 7 min |
| #4 | Kazuto | 235 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #5 | Zoom | 173 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Caped | +2.25 | 72 | 55 |
| #2 | Zoom | +1.84 | 90 | 41 |
| #3 | bubls | +1.72 | 88 | 58 |
| #4 | Solo ツ | +1.20 | 79 | 55 |
| #5 | comiskey | +1.18 | 79 | 64 |





