








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 171 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 76 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 35 matches | ||
| Premier | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2187 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,366 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1994 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1860 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1462 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2050 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $874,415 of utility $183 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 93 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | comiskey | 53% | 15 |
| #13 | SillySalmon | 53% | 30 |
| #14 | Zoom | 51% | 90 |
| #15 | Pixnum | 47% | 19 |
| #16 | mxnstrx | 47% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zoom | 28 | 0.0153 |
| #2 | bubls | 20 | 0.0228 |
| #3 | mAGIC | 15 | 0.0237 |
| #4 | Doug DimmaDaddy | 14 | 0.0153 |
| #5 | Caped | 12 | 0.0061 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Caped | 393 | 0.20 | 10 min |
| #2 | mAGIC | 186 | 0.29 | 4 min |
| #3 | Kazuto | 162 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #4 | Zoom | 158 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #5 | bubls | 108 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .ePT Tayco | +4.93 | 85 | 55 |
| #2 | The Death Machine Trusty Sniper | +4.54 | 92 | 40 |
| #3 | Caped | +3.25 | 76 | 62 |
| #4 | mxnstrx | +2.88 | 79 | 76 |
| #5 | bubls | +2.50 | 86 | 62 |





