








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 151 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1132 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,570 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 865 | 34% |
| Smokes | 282 | 11% |
| HE Grenades | 736 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 687 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $221,675 of utility $111 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 40 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Meluksli | 69% | 13 |
| #2 | Phant0miina77 | 67% | 9 |
| #3 | pokka | 64% | 14 |
| #4 | PekuZu | 57% | 7 |
| #5 | mehinosu | 50% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Myrttisen kurkut | 43% | 14 |
| #9 | Asuna :3 | 41% | 27 |
| #10 | siika | 40% | 53 |
| #11 | UninenVille | 38% | 48 |
| #12 | 𝗩𝗲𝗟𝗲𝗛𝗼 | 30% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | UninenVille | 6 | 0.0066 |
| #2 | pokka | 4 | 0.0142 |
| #3 | Asuna :3 | 3 | 0.0065 |
| #4 | Myrttisen kurkut | 3 | 0.0115 |
| #5 | siika | 2 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | siika | 145 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #2 | UninenVille | 66 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #3 | Meluksli | 41 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #4 | Myrttisen kurkut | 33 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #5 | PekuZu | 26 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pokka | +5.09 | 89 | 55 |
| #2 | Meluksli | +4.51 | 77 | 76 |
| #3 | Phant0miina77 | +2.03 | 69 | 52 |
| #4 | mehinosu | +1.75 | 85 | 56 |
| #5 | zRD3 | +0.62 | 46 | 52 |





