








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 161 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 156 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1379 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,847 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1911 | 39% |
| Smokes | 366 | 8% |
| HE Grenades | 2007 | 41% |
| Molotovs | 563 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $823,067 of utility $157 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 122 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | misterkiem | 48% | 69 |
| #2 | chekmanirov | 47% | 92 |
| #3 | DrLordMayonnaise | 46% | 13 |
| #4 | Beef | 40% | 20 |
| #5 | airbusdriver321 | 38% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Beef | 40% | 20 |
| #5 | airbusdriver321 | 38% | 13 |
| #6 | digilawls | 32% | 19 |
| #7 | OGSwanny | 30% | 56 |
| #8 | GOREY | 24% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Beef | 5 | 0.0122 |
| #2 | chekmanirov | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | misterkiem | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | OGSwanny | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | digilawls | 1 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chekmanirov | 259 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #2 | OGSwanny | 111 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #3 | misterkiem | 54 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #4 | GOREY | 43 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | Beef | 41 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Beef | +10.05 | 92 | 59 |
| #2 | DrLordMayonnaise | +8.27 | 80 | 70 |
| #3 | airbusdriver321 | +3.39 | 82 | 66 |
| #4 | OGSwanny | +0.71 | 44 | 61 |
| #5 | misterkiem | +0.47 | 54 | 37 |





