








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 57 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 189 matches | ||
| Faceit | 22 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2334 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,210 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1492 | 16% |
| Smokes | 2234 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2830 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 2654 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $684,706 of utility $120 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 20 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Godino #foreverRiders | 58% | 33 |
| #2 | LagazoMental | 57% | 46 |
| #3 | Kovadar_ | 55% | 55 |
| #4 | JΦλφμιη | 51% | 251 |
| #5 | ThorTicollis | 46% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | joseyyo | 46% | 59 |
| #7 | ♠ | imSheRRy | (⚆_⚆) | 43% | 14 |
| #8 | Martillo Pilón | 39% | 18 |
| #9 | AlephX | 29% | 14 |
| #10 | ᴄᴀᴍʙʀᴏɴɪᴅᴀs ♿ | 14% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JΦλφμιη | 13 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | Kovadar_ | 7 | 0.0060 |
| #3 | LagazoMental | 5 | 0.0049 |
| #4 | AlephX | 4 | 0.0133 |
| #5 | joseyyo | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JΦλφμιη | 977 | 0.18 | 25 min |
| #2 | Kovadar_ | 203 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #3 | ThorTicollis | 79 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #4 | LagazoMental | 69 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | Godino #foreverRiders | 51 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Godino #foreverRiders | +1.56 | 53 | 69 |
| #2 | Kovadar_ | +0.69 | 83 | 58 |
| #3 | JΦλφμιη | +0.46 | 66 | 66 |
| #4 | Zeront | +0.34 | 54 | 63 |
| #5 | LagazoMental | +0.33 | 44 | 70 |





