








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 90 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 419 matches | ||
| Faceit | 74 matches | ||
| Wingman | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5832 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,525 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6137 | 26% |
| Smokes | 7943 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 5021 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 4424 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,549,052 of utility $117 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 460 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zenemij | 62% | 37 |
| #2 | Godino #foreverRiders | 55% | 103 |
| #3 | Zeront | 51% | 251 |
| #4 | Kovadar_ | 51% | 112 |
| #5 | LagazoMental | 50% | 115 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | joseyyo | 50% | 106 |
| #7 | ThorTicollis | 49% | 126 |
| #8 | Martillo Pilón | 49% | 161 |
| #9 | ♠ | imSheRRy | (⚆_⚆) | 46% | 39 |
| #10 | ᴄᴀᴍʙʀᴏɴɪᴅᴀs ♿ | 43% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kovadar_ | 17 | 0.0073 |
| #2 | LagazoMental | 7 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | Zeront | 3 | 0.0006 |
| #4 | joseyyo | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | ᴄᴀᴍʙʀᴏɴɪᴅᴀs ♿ | 2 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zeront | 402 | 0.07 | 10 min |
| #2 | Kovadar_ | 389 | 0.17 | 9 min |
| #3 | Martillo Pilón | 191 | 0.05 | 5 min |
| #4 | ThorTicollis | 181 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #5 | Godino #foreverRiders | 175 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JΦλφμιη | +0.40 | 63 | 64 |
| #2 | Zeront | +0.33 | 54 | 63 |
| #3 | Kovadar_ | +0.30 | 82 | 59 |
| #4 | LagazoMental | +0.27 | 42 | 69 |
| #5 | Martillo Pilón | +0.26 | 44 | 62 |





