








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1876 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1103 matches | ||
| Wingman | 30 matches | ||
| Faceit | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 92 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




63 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
11036 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 47,927 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 13954 | 29% |
| Smokes | 12357 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 12832 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 8784 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,097,373 of utility $157 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 6597 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Monsta | 63% | 70 |
| #2 | Zaxl | 60% | 87 |
| #3 | Mortem Angelus | 58% | 66 |
| #4 | Batty Koda | 56% | 106 |
| #5 | Saalvo | 53% | 232 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | DirtyPerdy | 49% | 136 |
| #11 | Ugandan Kuckles | 48% | 281 |
| #12 | Riley Reid | 48% | 104 |
| #13 | phillis on IEMS | 47% | 176 |
| #14 | Notably | 43% | 69 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DirtyPerdy | 23 | 0.0080 |
| #2 | 2008 Honda Civic | 19 | 0.0118 |
| #3 | Ugandan Kuckles | 11 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | phillis on IEMS | 11 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | Climax | 9 | 0.0067 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Saalvo | 995 | 0.20 | 25 min |
| #2 | Gnome Sayin | 837 | 0.37 | 23 min |
| #3 | Ugandan Kuckles | 717 | 0.12 | 19 min |
| #4 | phillis on IEMS | 443 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| #5 | Zaxl | 428 | 0.23 | 12 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 2008 Honda Civic | +3.63 | 73 | 64 |
| #2 | Zaxl | +2.44 | 71 | 68 |
| #3 | Monsta | +2.19 | 78 | 68 |
| #4 | phillis on IEMS | +1.91 | 81 | 52 |
| #5 | AceF1VE | +1.75 | 78 | 60 |





