








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 15 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 23 matches | ||
| Premier | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
364 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,372 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 390 | 28% |
| Smokes | 378 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 376 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 228 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $184,434 of utility $163 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Panda | 67% | 6 |
| #2 | ๖ۣۜGod Prawn | 47% | 43 |
| #3 | m4x5ton | 44% | 25 |
| #4 | Devon | 43% | 14 |
| #5 | K3TTY SP4GH3TT1 | 43% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | ๖ۣۜGod Prawn | 47% | 43 |
| #3 | m4x5ton | 44% | 25 |
| #4 | Devon | 43% | 14 |
| #5 | K3TTY SP4GH3TT1 | 43% | 28 |
| #6 | Sumage | 33% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ๖ۣۜGod Prawn | 3 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | K3TTY SP4GH3TT1 | 2 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ๖ۣۜGod Prawn | 140 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #2 | K3TTY SP4GH3TT1 | 123 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| #3 | Devon | 76 | 0.23 | 2 min |
| #4 | m4x5ton | 53 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | Panda | 25 | 0.21 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Panda | +12.81 | 96 | 48 |
| #2 | Devon | +4.20 | 86 | 70 |
| #3 | ๖ۣۜGod Prawn | +0.77 | 65 | 56 |
| #4 | K3TTY SP4GH3TT1 | +0.56 | 79 | 54 |
| #5 | m4x5ton | -1.04 | 48 | 60 |





