








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 140 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 114 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1298 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,814 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1120 | 29% |
| Smokes | 900 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 852 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 942 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $337,869 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 48 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | horizon | 85% | 13 |
| #2 | m4x5ton | 82% | 11 |
| #3 | Elliot | 76% | 21 |
| #4 | fresh | 74% | 34 |
| #5 | Kneecoal | 67% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Haus | 53% | 60 |
| #10 | Patty | 48% | 21 |
| #11 | Rain Man | 40% | 25 |
| #12 | SK3L3T4L | 37% | 30 |
| #13 | Wilson | 29% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jite | 2 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | Wilson | 2 | 0.0061 |
| #3 | horizon | 2 | 0.0075 |
| #4 | Kneecoal | 2 | 0.0112 |
| #5 | Haus | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Haus | 379 | 0.28 | 10 min |
| #2 | SK3L3T4L | 156 | 0.26 | 4 min |
| #3 | Shindeiru デッド | 91 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| #4 | Jite | 72 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #5 | Wilson | 59 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | horizon | +4.28 | 73 | 46 |
| #2 | Shindeiru デッド | +3.23 | 76 | 70 |
| #3 | Jite | +2.48 | 78 | 56 |
| #4 | SK3L3T4L | +2.01 | 73 | 71 |
| #5 | Panda | +1.91 | 75 | 51 |





