








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 242 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 123 matches | ||
| Faceit | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2105 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,381 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1822 | 22% |
| Smokes | 2502 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1899 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2158 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $629,227 of utility $114 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 52 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NAcho | 51% | 41 |
| #2 | Heikki Lampela 47 #prolsrael | 49% | 61 |
| #3 | jamal | 48% | 71 |
| #4 | h | 48% | 90 |
| #5 | miro | 46% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Heikki Lampela 47 #prolsrael | 49% | 61 |
| #3 | jamal | 48% | 71 |
| #4 | h | 48% | 90 |
| #5 | miro | 46% | 24 |
| #6 | iiro | 45% | 65 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jamal | 5 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | iiro | 5 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | h | 4 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | Heikki Lampela 47 #prolsrael | 4 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | miro | 4 | 0.0079 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | h | 257 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #2 | iiro | 203 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #3 | miro | 153 | 0.30 | 3 min |
| #4 | jamal | 137 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | Heikki Lampela 47 #prolsrael | 114 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | h | +2.52 | 61 | 60 |
| #2 | jamal | +1.41 | 70 | 57 |
| #3 | iiro | +0.83 | 58 | 69 |
| #4 | NAcho | +0.14 | 72 | 51 |
| #5 | Heikki Lampela 47 #prolsrael | -0.38 | 56 | 69 |





