










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 373 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
667 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,585 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 559 | 35% |
| Smokes | 460 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 348 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 218 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $223,362 of utility $159 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 164 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Iceman | 57% | 46 |
| #2 | ♚ O J R ♚ | 50% | 4 |
| #3 | Blalo | 50% | 8 |
| #4 | SkaR '_' IWPL | 43% | 14 |
| #5 | King Baldwin IV | 40% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | ♚ O J R ♚ | 50% | 4 |
| #3 | Blalo | 50% | 8 |
| #4 | SkaR '_' IWPL | 43% | 14 |
| #5 | King Baldwin IV | 40% | 15 |
| #6 | Patrick Bateman | 38% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Iceman | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | King Baldwin IV | 1 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | SkaR '_' IWPL | 1 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | Patrick Bateman | 1 | 0.0038 |
| #5 | Blalo | 1 | 0.0060 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Iceman | 105 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #2 | Patrick Bateman | 56 | 0.21 | 1 min |
| #3 | King Baldwin IV | 48 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #4 | Blalo | 29 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #5 | SkaR '_' IWPL | 25 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | King Baldwin IV | +3.19 | 72 | 69 |
| #2 | SkaR '_' IWPL | +2.94 | 71 | 53 |
| #3 | Scaripple | +2.52 | 75 | 52 |
| #4 | Blalo | +2.36 | 55 | 58 |
| #5 | Patrick Bateman | +0.81 | 61 | 55 |





