








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1257 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 469 matches | ||
| Faceit | 47 matches | ||
| Wingman | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 110 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




51 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5690 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,910 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5583 | 31% |
| Smokes | 4376 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 3877 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 4074 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,488,953 of utility $198 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 905 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Blalo | 56% | 133 |
| #2 | Shannon Matthews | 55% | 51 |
| #3 | King Baldwin IV | 54% | 243 |
| #4 | SkaR '_' IWPL | 54% | 196 |
| #5 | Iceman | 53% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Shannon Matthews | 55% | 51 |
| #3 | King Baldwin IV | 54% | 243 |
| #4 | SkaR '_' IWPL | 54% | 196 |
| #5 | Iceman | 53% | 43 |
| #6 | ♚ O J R ♚ | 37% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Blalo | 21 | 0.0073 |
| #2 | King Baldwin IV | 20 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | SkaR '_' IWPL | 19 | 0.0047 |
| #4 | ♚ O J R ♚ | 6 | 0.0060 |
| #5 | Shannon Matthews | 2 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | King Baldwin IV | 743 | 0.15 | 19 min |
| #2 | Blalo | 635 | 0.22 | 17 min |
| #3 | SkaR '_' IWPL | 483 | 0.12 | 12 min |
| #4 | Shannon Matthews | 114 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #5 | Iceman | 84 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Blalo | +4.37 | 60 | 58 |
| #2 | King Baldwin IV | +1.04 | 62 | 65 |
| #3 | SkaR '_' IWPL | +0.38 | 76 | 54 |
| #4 | Patrick Bateman | +0.34 | 73 | 59 |
| #5 | Shannon Matthews | -0.53 | 38 | 57 |





