








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1130 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 649 matches | ||
| Wingman | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 105 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




52 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6780 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,061 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6291 | 37% |
| Smokes | 5034 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 3691 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2045 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,314,481 of utility $139 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 910 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Blalo | 59% | 76 |
| #2 | Patrick Bateman | 54% | 196 |
| #3 | King Baldwin IV | 49% | 411 |
| #4 | Iceman | 46% | 97 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Blalo | 59% | 76 |
| #2 | Patrick Bateman | 54% | 196 |
| #3 | King Baldwin IV | 49% | 411 |
| #4 | Iceman | 46% | 97 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | King Baldwin IV | 42 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | Patrick Bateman | 23 | 0.0057 |
| #3 | Blalo | 9 | 0.0055 |
| #4 | Iceman | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | King Baldwin IV | 1363 | 0.16 | 34 min |
| #2 | Patrick Bateman | 536 | 0.13 | 13 min |
| #3 | Blalo | 372 | 0.23 | 9 min |
| #4 | Iceman | 211 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Blalo | +3.62 | 62 | 54 |
| #2 | King Baldwin IV | +1.37 | 65 | 65 |
| #3 | SkaR '_' IWPL | +0.76 | 74 | 54 |
| #4 | Patrick Bateman | +0.45 | 73 | 59 |
| #5 | Iceman | -4.10 | 21 | 49 |





