








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 206 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2759 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,599 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3080 | 36% |
| Smokes | 2171 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1718 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1630 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $615,561 of utility $98 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | 老六小趴菜 | 55% | 33 |
| #8 | AligaCat | 47% | 15 |
| #9 | Hamburger .。. | 46% | 140 |
| #10 | BloodcurdlingドドRum6lin9 | 45% | 125 |
| #11 | MUnight | 42% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tira | 12 | 0.0050 |
| #2 | st0rm | 6 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | 今天我叫你宝贝,明天 | 5 | 0.0048 |
| #4 | BloodcurdlingドドRum6lin9 | 4 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | Hamburger .。. | 1 | 0.0003 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BloodcurdlingドドRum6lin9 | 539 | 0.20 | 15 min |
| #2 | tira | 481 | 0.20 | 11 min |
| #3 | st0rm | 302 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #4 | Hamburger .。. | 195 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #5 | 今天我叫你宝贝,明天 | 150 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 老六小趴菜 | +3.35 | 85 | 51 |
| #2 | BloodcurdlingドドRum6lin9 | +2.36 | 60 | 62 |
| #3 | 今天我叫你宝贝,明天 | +2.13 | 75 | 54 |
| #4 | AligaCat | +1.89 | 79 | 71 |
| #5 | heart | +1.08 | 54 | 45 |





