










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 863 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 638 matches | ||
| Faceit | 74 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 55 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




43 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8474 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,975 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8834 | 35% |
| Smokes | 5609 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 5869 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 4663 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,753,445 of utility $109 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 384 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | m1 | 68% | 40 |
| #2 | Food works | 66% | 58 |
| #3 | flusha | 62% | 225 |
| #4 | GoldenWRLD ♥ | 61% | 70 |
| #5 | lil rigger | 60% | 72 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | lil rigger | 60% | 72 |
| #6 | BobbyShmrdz | 59% | 78 |
| #7 | Crown | 59% | 41 |
| #8 | Shaedy | 58% | 83 |
| #9 | SlickChip | 52% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lil rigger | 11 | 0.0063 |
| #2 | flusha | 10 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | Shaedy | 7 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | GoldenWRLD ♥ | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | Food works | 3 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | flusha | 1643 | 0.33 | 54 min |
| #2 | GoldenWRLD ♥ | 532 | 0.31 | 15 min |
| #3 | BobbyShmrdz | 411 | 0.24 | 11 min |
| #4 | lil rigger | 311 | 0.18 | 10 min |
| #5 | Shaedy | 251 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GoldenWRLD ♥ | +2.22 | 76 | 87 |
| #2 | BobbyShmrdz | +1.79 | 86 | 58 |
| #3 | queefing bunnies | +1.63 | 81 | 63 |
| #4 | Crown | +1.51 | 87 | 66 |
| #5 | flusha | +1.24 | 74 | 85 |





