








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1703 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 780 matches | ||
| Faceit | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 70 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




42 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9999 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 44,269 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 20115 | 45% |
| Smokes | 7828 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 10773 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 5553 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,003,408 of utility $56 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1409 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | m1 | 65% | 98 |
| #2 | arx- | 65% | 46 |
| #3 | Wisey | 63% | 49 |
| #4 | BobbyShmrdz | 62% | 146 |
| #5 | queefing bunnies | 62% | 225 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | GoldenWRLD ♥ | 58% | 184 |
| #10 | SwedishSloth | 57% | 54 |
| #11 | SlickChip | 57% | 240 |
| #12 | Food works | 52% | 90 |
| #13 | lil rigger | 50% | 215 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lil rigger | 20 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | SlickChip | 18 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | queefing bunnies | 14 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | GoldenWRLD ♥ | 7 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | Food works | 7 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GoldenWRLD ♥ | 1098 | 0.28 | 31 min |
| #2 | queefing bunnies | 1011 | 0.21 | 29 min |
| #3 | SlickChip | 800 | 0.16 | 21 min |
| #4 | lil rigger | 751 | 0.17 | 23 min |
| #5 | BobbyShmrdz | 695 | 0.22 | 19 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GoldenWRLD ♥ | +2.04 | 75 | 86 |
| #2 | Crown | +1.97 | 86 | 69 |
| #3 | BobbyShmrdz | +1.88 | 85 | 58 |
| #4 | flusha | +1.57 | 75 | 85 |
| #5 | m1 | +1.18 | 90 | 70 |





