








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 570 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 311 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3824 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,395 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5324 | 63% |
| Smokes | 1602 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 1146 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 323 | 4% |
Our logs show you have wasted $759,942 of utility $109 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 842 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FASA | 89% | 27 |
| #2 | mirz | 83% | 35 |
| #3 | Crown | 73% | 33 |
| #4 | m1 | 72% | 29 |
| #5 | flusha | 62% | 146 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | flusha | 62% | 146 |
| #6 | Food works | 62% | 42 |
| #7 | SlickChip | 60% | 30 |
| #8 | queefing bunnies | 59% | 78 |
| #9 | Shaedy | 54% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | queefing bunnies | 8 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | flusha | 5 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | Food works | 4 | 0.0046 |
| #4 | mirz | 4 | 0.0060 |
| #5 | Crown | 3 | 0.0040 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | flusha | 965 | 0.31 | 31 min |
| #2 | queefing bunnies | 404 | 0.23 | 11 min |
| #3 | SlickChip | 155 | 0.23 | 4 min |
| #4 | Food works | 131 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #5 | Crown | 106 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FASA | +5.31 | 95 | 77 |
| #2 | Crown | +2.59 | 86 | 67 |
| #3 | BobbyShmrdz | +2.55 | 84 | 59 |
| #4 | m1 | +1.66 | 91 | 68 |
| #5 | flusha | +1.22 | 78 | 82 |





