








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 118 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 352 matches | ||
| Wingman | 97 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




74 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4573 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,844 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5115 | 34% |
| Smokes | 4922 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 2894 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1913 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $766,690 of utility $80 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 103 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bob2 | 54% | 205 |
| #2 | olli | 49% | 206 |
| #3 | Jẻfẻ | 48% | 348 |
| #4 | bob | 47% | 49 |
| #5 | Ratatoimitusjohtaja | 46% | 140 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jẻfẻ | 69 | 0.0102 |
| #2 | Ratatoimitusjohtaja | 18 | 0.0059 |
| #3 | bob2 | 15 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | 𝔎𝔢𝔦𝔰𝔞𝔯𝔦 | 10 | 0.0082 |
| #5 | olli | 9 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jẻfẻ | 818 | 0.12 | 16 min |
| #2 | bob2 | 811 | 0.20 | 22 min |
| #3 | Ratatoimitusjohtaja | 479 | 0.16 | 11 min |
| #4 | olli | 193 | 0.04 | 6 min |
| #5 | bob | 183 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bob2 | +4.94 | 81 | 70 |
| #2 | bob | +4.28 | 82 | 77 |
| #3 | Fisermän | +0.09 | 75 | 57 |
| #4 | Jẻfẻ | +0.02 | 59 | 51 |
| #5 | olli | -1.40 | 54 | 49 |





