








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 771 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 106 matches | ||
| Faceit | 87 matches | ||
| Wingman | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 38 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3486 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,680 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4266 | 34% |
| Smokes | 3398 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2807 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2209 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $429,096 of utility $77 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 25 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | baguette | 55% | 40 |
| #2 | Viltsu | 52% | 112 |
| #3 | sumppib | 51% | 45 |
| #4 | Huli | 51% | 102 |
| #5 | olli | 49% | 103 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jẻfẻ | 9 | 0.0070 |
| #2 | Fisermän | 9 | 0.0088 |
| #3 | Huli | 6 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | olli | 4 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | ryan gosling | 4 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Viltsu | 299 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #2 | Huli | 209 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #3 | Ratatoimitusjohtaja | 181 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #4 | Fisermän | 147 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #5 | Jẻfẻ | 139 | 0.11 | 3 min |





