








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 129 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 335 matches | ||
| Premier | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3754 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,854 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2928 | 18% |
| Smokes | 4256 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 4596 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 4074 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,474,911 of utility $154 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 279 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KapaK | 55% | 114 |
| #2 | smB^🧙 | 55% | 31 |
| #3 | 𝒑𝒅𝒔𝒕𝒓𝒏 | 54% | 70 |
| #4 | LUMOTTU | 54% | 132 |
| #5 | r0ntti | 52% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | palvaren | 49% | 91 |
| #11 | zeta =D | 49% | 39 |
| #12 | M0nk | 48% | 64 |
| #13 | astee | 43% | 44 |
| #14 | Piimäpurkki | 35% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KapaK | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | Milu | 2 | 0.0004 |
| #3 | einoin | 2 | 0.0005 |
| #4 | palvaren | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | 𝒑𝒅𝒔𝒕𝒓𝒏 | 2 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Milu | 585 | 0.13 | 16 min |
| #2 | beer32 | 508 | 0.11 | 16 min |
| #3 | einoin | 403 | 0.11 | 11 min |
| #4 | N1k0ps | 256 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #5 | 𝒑𝒅𝒔𝒕𝒓𝒏 | 245 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LUMOTTU | +2.49 | 72 | 55 |
| #2 | beer32 | +2.18 | 69 | 72 |
| #3 | Piimäpurkki | +1.35 | 79 | 72 |
| #4 | N1k0ps | +0.68 | 64 | 66 |
| #5 | smB^🧙 | +0.66 | 59 | 55 |





