








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 325 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 302 matches | ||
| Premier | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3404 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,461 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3200 | 22% |
| Smokes | 4078 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 3608 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3575 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $832,715 of utility $103 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 115 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | r0ntti | 58% | 26 |
| #2 | Milu | 55% | 132 |
| #3 | beer32 | 54% | 105 |
| #4 | KapaK | 54% | 93 |
| #5 | 𝒑𝒅𝒔𝒕𝒓𝒏 | 54% | 67 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | EstroKisut | 46% | 41 |
| #13 | astee | 46% | 35 |
| #14 | Varpe | 42% | 33 |
| #15 | olli | 40% | 53 |
| #16 | Tuippis | 35% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Milu | 4 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | M0nk | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | mixu | 1 | 0.0004 |
| #4 | palvaren | 1 | 0.0004 |
| #5 | einoin | 1 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Milu | 372 | 0.12 | 12 min |
| #2 | M0nk | 307 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| #3 | beer32 | 275 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #4 | einoin | 242 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #5 | 𝒑𝒅𝒔𝒕𝒓𝒏 | 240 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Varpe | +2.61 | 83 | 66 |
| #2 | LUMOTTU | +2.42 | 71 | 57 |
| #3 | beer32 | +1.60 | 68 | 71 |
| #4 | N1k0ps | +1.39 | 66 | 66 |
| #5 | M0nk | +0.31 | 55 | 79 |





