








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 174 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
952 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,309 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 964 | 22% |
| Smokes | 949 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1232 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1164 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $744,862 of utility $226 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 85 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Neunard | 49% | 69 |
| #2 | TILTnas | 45% | 132 |
| #3 | Hiqqz | 44% | 98 |
| #4 | DieTer HacKing :> | 44% | 55 |
| #5 | TipS | 39% | 109 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Hiqqz | 44% | 98 |
| #4 | DieTer HacKing :> | 44% | 55 |
| #5 | TipS | 39% | 109 |
| #6 | Hahnenkampf | 36% | 14 |
| #7 | Jesko / fjk_do | 33% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TILTnas | 13 | 0.0048 |
| #2 | TipS | 9 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | Neunard | 5 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | Hiqqz | 4 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | DieTer HacKing :> | 2 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DieTer HacKing :> | 169 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #2 | Hiqqz | 125 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #3 | Neunard | 124 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #4 | Jesko / fjk_do | 124 | 0.37 | 4 min |
| #5 | TipS | 92 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hiqqz | +3.47 | 73 | 55 |
| #2 | Jesko / fjk_do | +2.47 | 90 | 66 |
| #3 | Neunard | +2.47 | 85 | 60 |
| #4 | TipS | +1.00 | 67 | 57 |
| #5 | DieTer HacKing :> | -0.78 | 56 | 66 |





