








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 15 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 41 matches | ||
| Faceit | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1043 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,689 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1094 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1225 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 493 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 877 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $219,497 of utility $102 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 9 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | merpthepenguin | 100% | 8 |
| #2 | JaVale | 75% | 12 |
| #3 | Heylol | 68% | 19 |
| #4 | cheesekurd of the eat | 63% | 8 |
| #5 | GALIL META | 60% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Heylol | 4 | 0.0105 |
| #2 | avril the 14th | 4 | 0.0138 |
| #3 | JaVale | 4 | 0.0158 |
| #4 | KSpooky | 2 | 0.0092 |
| #5 | cheesekurd of the eat | 2 | 0.0132 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JaVale | 67 | 0.26 | 1 min |
| #2 | ~snooples💤™🤤😋🗿 | 60 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #3 | GALIL META | 50 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #4 | Heylol | 47 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #5 | R3d4 | 38 | 0.32 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cheesekurd of the eat | +3.19 | 95 | 62 |
| #2 | PandaWafer | +2.66 | 78 | 59 |
| #3 | DingBuddy | +2.03 | 90 | 63 |
| #4 | GALIL META | +1.93 | 92 | 48 |
| #5 | JaVale | +1.71 | 69 | 55 |





