








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 23 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
408 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,731 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 480 | 28% |
| Smokes | 462 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 434 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 355 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $49,146 of utility $62 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 13 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lé Tupla | 5 | 0.0100 |
| #2 | Maitomies | 3 | 0.0064 |
| #3 | bobster | 3 | 0.0149 |
| #4 | The Orc Slayer | 1 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | kroko | 1 | 0.0037 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Maitomies | 157 | 0.34 | 4 min |
| #2 | Lé Tupla | 132 | 0.26 | 2 min |
| #3 | The Orc Slayer | 75 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #4 | kroko | 59 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| #5 | bobster | 29 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Grepe | +4.38 | 94 | 37 |
| #2 | WatchM3Fail | +2.74 | 75 | 63 |
| #3 | kroko | +2.20 | 79 | 66 |
| #4 | Teemees | +0.80 | 46 | 51 |
| #5 | The Orc Slayer | +0.23 | 59 | 61 |





