








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 8 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
858 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,422 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1859 | 42% |
| Smokes | 1314 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 545 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 704 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $116,365 of utility $57 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 11 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kroko | 69% | 13 |
| #2 | bobster | 57% | 21 |
| #3 | WatchM3Fail | 50% | 22 |
| #4 | The Orc Slayer | 49% | 53 |
| #5 | Lé Tupla | 46% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kroko | 69% | 13 |
| #2 | bobster | 57% | 21 |
| #3 | WatchM3Fail | 50% | 22 |
| #4 | The Orc Slayer | 49% | 53 |
| #5 | Lé Tupla | 46% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lé Tupla | 6 | 0.0070 |
| #2 | bobster | 3 | 0.0060 |
| #3 | The Orc Slayer | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | WatchM3Fail | 1 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | kroko | 1 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Orc Slayer | 198 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #2 | Lé Tupla | 182 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| #3 | bobster | 107 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| #4 | WatchM3Fail | 91 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #5 | kroko | 62 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WatchM3Fail | +2.77 | 74 | 65 |
| #2 | kroko | +2.28 | 80 | 58 |
| #3 | bobster | +2.01 | 59 | 53 |
| #4 | Lé Tupla | +1.05 | 63 | 51 |
| #5 | The Orc Slayer | +0.65 | 65 | 55 |





