








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 75 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 239 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 32 matches | ||
| Faceit | 32 matches | ||
| Wingman | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4643 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,354 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3100 | 20% |
| Smokes | 3794 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3613 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 4847 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $892,038 of utility $94 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 323 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .Darioush`-´ | 81% | 31 |
| #2 | madb0y_ | 68% | 119 |
| #3 | ✪ h1dd3n | 66% | 161 |
| #4 | _JsN_ | 60% | 50 |
| #5 | swaxxkor | 57% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | swaxxkor | 57% | 47 |
| #6 | MorkaN | 53% | 116 |
| #7 | MoofsteR. ツ | 52% | 33 |
| #8 | döner mit senF | 49% | 47 |
| #9 | Curve | 45% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MorkaN | 7 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | ✪ h1dd3n | 5 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | madb0y_ | 4 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | _JsN_ | 2 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | swaxxkor | 2 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MorkaN | 546 | 0.26 | 17 min |
| #2 | ✪ h1dd3n | 445 | 0.15 | 14 min |
| #3 | madb0y_ | 238 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #4 | _JsN_ | 161 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #5 | döner mit senF | 149 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ h1dd3n | +3.64 | 95 | 64 |
| #2 | Balsa ツ | +1.22 | 68 | 60 |
| #3 | madb0y_ | +1.19 | 88 | 67 |
| #4 | MorkaN | +0.46 | 91 | 84 |
| #5 | Curve | +0.17 | 77 | 61 |





