








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 515 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 458 matches | ||
| Faceit | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 51 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7277 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 30,109 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10152 | 34% |
| Smokes | 8042 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 5066 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 6849 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $962,065 of utility $80 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2716 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Melone | 56% | 39 |
| #2 | shiine | 53% | 45 |
| #3 | madb0y_ | 53% | 38 |
| #4 | Balsa ツ | 53% | 116 |
| #5 | döner mit senF | 53% | 137 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | feNei | 52% | 100 |
| #9 | BuTtErBr0t | 51% | 47 |
| #10 | Dia | 51% | 59 |
| #11 | ✪ L3nLu | 50% | 48 |
| #12 | kirito-san | 48% | 65 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MoofsteR. ツ | 10 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | döner mit senF | 4 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | BuTtErBr0t | 4 | 0.0043 |
| #4 | Melone | 4 | 0.0048 |
| #5 | feNei | 3 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | döner mit senF | 461 | 0.17 | 12 min |
| #2 | feNei | 379 | 0.18 | 8 min |
| #3 | MoofsteR. ツ | 272 | 0.07 | 8 min |
| #4 | Dia | 232 | 0.19 | 7 min |
| #5 | Balsa ツ | 220 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MorkaN | +1.45 | 90 | 82 |
| #2 | Balsa ツ | +1.32 | 68 | 63 |
| #3 | shiine | +1.19 | 83 | 71 |
| #4 | BuTtErBr0t | +0.42 | 66 | 60 |
| #5 | madb0y_ | +0.09 | 92 | 68 |





