








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 141 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 238 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 40 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2024 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,930 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1540 | 16% |
| Smokes | 3120 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 2564 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2706 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $978,220 of utility $147 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 88 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zenemij | 52% | 21 |
| #2 | ThorTicollis | 52% | 23 |
| #3 | Martillo Pilón | 50% | 119 |
| #4 | <?php?> | 48% | 40 |
| #5 | LagazoMental | 46% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | polfrankon | 44% | 167 |
| #10 | JΦλφμιη | 43% | 47 |
| #11 | joseyyo | 42% | 203 |
| #12 | ioanaBlue | 40% | 43 |
| #13 | Liblan | 39% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | joseyyo | 5 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | Martillo Pilón | 5 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | ioanaBlue | 2 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | PirindoloMental | 2 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | <?php?> | 2 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Martillo Pilón | 225 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #2 | JΦλφμιη | 175 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #3 | joseyyo | 171 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| #4 | Godino #foreverRiders | 148 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #5 | polfrankon | 125 | 0.03 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Martillo Pilón | +3.09 | 49 | 69 |
| #2 | PirindoloMental | +2.85 | 51 | 80 |
| #3 | LagazoMental | +2.59 | 53 | 73 |
| #4 | <?php?> | +2.19 | 53 | 65 |
| #5 | Godino #foreverRiders | +1.81 | 56 | 62 |





