








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 146 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 23 matches | ||
| Faceit | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2930 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,103 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1253 | 15% |
| Smokes | 2896 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 1653 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2301 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $581,526 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 62 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TetsuEZ | 55% | 130 |
| #2 | Krusty | 55% | 120 |
| #3 | Gluadentus | 53% | 198 |
| #4 | sel | 50% | 34 |
| #5 | Blaserman | 50% | 84 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | sel | 50% | 34 |
| #5 | Blaserman | 50% | 84 |
| #6 | Clyde | 49% | 144 |
| #7 | Shiiibesé | 47% | 19 |
| #8 | Hod | 44% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Clyde | 14 | 0.0047 |
| #2 | Gluadentus | 10 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | TetsuEZ | 5 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | Krusty | 4 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | sel | 2 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gluadentus | 666 | 0.16 | 16 min |
| #2 | TetsuEZ | 554 | 0.21 | 14 min |
| #3 | Clyde | 306 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #4 | sel | 71 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | Shiiibesé | 39 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yilmaz | +5.53 | 88 | 62 |
| #2 | Gluadentus | +1.99 | 72 | 57 |
| #3 | Krusty | -0.56 | 40 | 43 |
| #4 | Hod | -1.64 | 62 | 28 |
| #5 | TetsuEZ | -1.68 | 60 | 68 |





