








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 390 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 86 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 38 matches | ||
| Faceit | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2795 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,972 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4850 | 30% |
| Smokes | 5046 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 2443 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 3633 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $502,485 of utility $74 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 396 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ZildjiaN | 67% | 18 |
| #2 | Yilmaz | 55% | 130 |
| #3 | Gluadentus | 53% | 130 |
| #4 | Bean | 52% | 31 |
| #5 | Clyde | 47% | 246 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Clyde | 47% | 246 |
| #6 | Hod | 45% | 47 |
| #7 | Blaserman | 44% | 86 |
| #8 | Krusty | 43% | 88 |
| #9 | Shiiibesé | 33% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Clyde | 40 | 0.0080 |
| #2 | Krusty | 4 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | Gluadentus | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | Yilmaz | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | Hod | 3 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Clyde | 555 | 0.11 | 13 min |
| #2 | Gluadentus | 459 | 0.17 | 11 min |
| #3 | Yilmaz | 161 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #4 | Shiiibesé | 64 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #5 | Bean | 62 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yilmaz | +5.11 | 87 | 63 |
| #2 | Gluadentus | +1.90 | 70 | 58 |
| #3 | ZildjiaN | -0.66 | 72 | 63 |
| #4 | Bean | -0.67 | 71 | 61 |
| #5 | TetsuEZ | -0.77 | 60 | 68 |





