








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 274 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 179 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 92 matches | ||
| Premier | 87 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 11 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




107 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6163 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,069 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6005 | 29% |
| Smokes | 6562 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 4383 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 4119 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,675,073 of utility $120 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 694 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Krusty | 54% | 163 |
| #8 | TetsuEZ | 53% | 130 |
| #9 | Yilmaz | 53% | 198 |
| #10 | Blaserman | 51% | 178 |
| #11 | Clyde | 46% | 183 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TetsuEZ | 655 | 0.24 | 16 min |
| #2 | Clyde | 373 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #3 | Yilmaz | 286 | 0.07 | 7 min |
| #4 | Daddy (PMA) | 210 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #5 | sel | 182 | 0.08 | 5 min |





