








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 705 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 150 matches | ||
| Premier | 111 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 91 matches | ||
| Faceit | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




137 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4495 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,475 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3375 | 36% |
| Smokes | 2063 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 3392 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 645 | 7% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,090,864 of utility $181 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1113 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yilmaz | 49% | 144 |
| #2 | TetsuEZ | 47% | 246 |
| #3 | Gluadentus | 46% | 183 |
| #4 | Krusty | 43% | 139 |
| #5 | sel | 42% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | sel | 42% | 31 |
| #6 | Hod | 39% | 36 |
| #7 | Blaserman | 36% | 133 |
| #8 | Bean | 31% | 61 |
| #9 | Djavo | 15% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TetsuEZ | 16 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | Krusty | 10 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | Gluadentus | 8 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | Yilmaz | 6 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | Bean | 6 | 0.0049 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TetsuEZ | 1253 | 0.25 | 29 min |
| #2 | Gluadentus | 667 | 0.17 | 17 min |
| #3 | Yilmaz | 203 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #4 | Bean | 106 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #5 | sel | 78 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yilmaz | +5.10 | 88 | 63 |
| #2 | Gluadentus | +1.98 | 68 | 60 |
| #3 | Hod | -0.06 | 56 | 26 |
| #4 | Krusty | -0.49 | 39 | 41 |
| #5 | Bean | -0.56 | 74 | 56 |





