








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 212 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 241 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 44 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3072 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,019 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3860 | 30% |
| Smokes | 3602 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2974 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2583 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $917,673 of utility $114 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1288 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ya Think Its A Bird?? | 50% | 30 |
| #2 | Gay Potatoes | 50% | 290 |
| #3 | Nick | 49% | 45 |
| #4 | smore1g | 48% | 207 |
| #5 | FailedPacifist | 48% | 108 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | smore1g | 48% | 207 |
| #5 | FailedPacifist | 48% | 108 |
| #6 | iHarvestBamboo | 45% | 31 |
| #7 | Avaritia | 45% | 67 |
| #8 | Chicken_dude1 | 42% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gay Potatoes | 19 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | FailedPacifist | 16 | 0.0073 |
| #3 | Avaritia | 14 | 0.0102 |
| #4 | smore1g | 9 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | Nick | 3 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gay Potatoes | 505 | 0.08 | 14 min |
| #2 | smore1g | 445 | 0.10 | 11 min |
| #3 | FailedPacifist | 109 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #4 | Nick | 103 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #5 | Avaritia | 52 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gay Potatoes | +2.95 | 78 | 53 |
| #2 | Nick | +2.26 | 69 | 73 |
| #3 | smore1g | +1.92 | 64 | 58 |
| #4 | iHarvestBamboo | -0.05 | 64 | 51 |
| #5 | Orange Shy Guy | -0.19 | 54 | 59 |





