








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1870 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 517 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 156 matches | ||
| Wingman | 154 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 71 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




104 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9313 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,191 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5344 | 23% |
| Smokes | 7622 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 4472 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 5753 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,461,009 of utility $166 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2466 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | smore1g | 50% | 115 |
| #3 | Gay Potatoes | 46% | 90 |
| #4 | deviouseffort | 45% | 141 |
| #5 | Knack | 40% | 63 |
| #6 | FailedPacifist | 36% | 97 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FailedPacifist | 18 | 0.0095 |
| #2 | deviouseffort | 9 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | Knack | 8 | 0.0064 |
| #4 | Gay Potatoes | 4 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | smore1g | 3 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | smore1g | 295 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #2 | deviouseffort | 196 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #3 | Knack | 179 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #4 | Gay Potatoes | 128 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #5 | FailedPacifist | 108 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gay Potatoes | +3.68 | 81 | 54 |
| #2 | iHarvestBamboo | +1.42 | 72 | 44 |
| #3 | smore1g | +1.36 | 65 | 54 |
| #4 | Knack | -1.45 | 39 | 62 |
| #5 | deviouseffort | -2.85 | 11 | 44 |





