








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
294 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,089 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 190 | 17% |
| Smokes | 273 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 389 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 237 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $151,333 of utility $137 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BACONBACONTRUCK | 52% | 44 |
| #2 | Dilaver | 50% | 4 |
| #3 | petR | 46% | 35 |
| #4 | cyan.emmelnem | 45% | 29 |
| #5 | Thorin Thunderbeard | 43% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | petR | 2 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | cyan.emmelnem | 2 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | BACONBACONTRUCK | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BACONBACONTRUCK | 132 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #2 | petR | 104 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #3 | cyan.emmelnem | 52 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #4 | Thorin Thunderbeard | 42 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | Dilaver | 12 | 0.18 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BACONBACONTRUCK | +3.05 | 61 | 79 |
| #2 | cyan.emmelnem | +2.49 | 69 | 61 |
| #3 | petR | +1.37 | 67 | 74 |
| #4 | Dilaver | +0.46 | 40 | 39 |
| #5 | Thorin Thunderbeard | -0.36 | 49 | 57 |





