








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 216 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 279 matches | ||
| Faceit | 249 matches | ||
| Wingman | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




43 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6232 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,865 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2933 | 12% |
| Smokes | 6971 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 8248 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 5713 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,391,200 of utility $103 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 476 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | я продалсвою мать | 44% | 45 |
| #11 | Goz | 44% | 66 |
| #12 | Bob | 42% | 50 |
| #13 | Freddy | 41% | 41 |
| #14 | MRJ | 38% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RXNI | 52 | 0.0080 |
| #2 | shyrtexx | 15 | 0.0041 |
| #3 | hemmo3 | 9 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | Ramus | 7 | 0.0053 |
| #5 | я продалсвою мать | 5 | 0.0052 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RXNI | 1382 | 0.21 | 26 min |
| #2 | hemmo3 | 587 | 0.16 | 16 min |
| #3 | Ramus | 379 | 0.29 | 9 min |
| #4 | я продалсвою мать | 303 | 0.31 | 7 min |
| #5 | Goz | 244 | 0.17 | 6 min |





