








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 78 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 192 matches | ||
| Premier | 107 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2749 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,285 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4660 | 33% |
| Smokes | 2510 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 3616 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3499 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $396,170 of utility $52 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 142 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♥ Emzziie ♥ | 63% | 35 |
| #2 | shyrtexx | 61% | 82 |
| #3 | Goz | 57% | 42 |
| #4 | Pena | 51% | 176 |
| #5 | я продалсвою мать | 50% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | я продалсвою мать | 50% | 36 |
| #6 | velluGsi | 45% | 62 |
| #7 | RXNI | 45% | 71 |
| #8 | Bob | 43% | 23 |
| #9 | Falluxi | 41% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | shyrtexx | 9 | 0.0051 |
| #2 | RXNI | 9 | 0.0058 |
| #3 | Pena | 8 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | я продалсвою мать | 4 | 0.0050 |
| #5 | velluGsi | 2 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RXNI | 340 | 0.22 | 7 min |
| #2 | я продалсвою мать | 259 | 0.32 | 6 min |
| #3 | Pena | 208 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #4 | velluGsi | 168 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #5 | Goz | 168 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | я продалсвою мать | +1.72 | 72 | 66 |
| #2 | Goz | +1.69 | 69 | 57 |
| #3 | shyrtexx | +1.23 | 58 | 54 |
| #4 | Pena | +0.80 | 74 | 56 |
| #5 | velluGsi | +0.41 | 72 | 67 |





