








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 903 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 425 matches | ||
| Wingman | 170 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 72 matches | ||
| Faceit | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Esplay | 3 matches | 1,862 |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 47 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




61 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8525 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 34,750 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 19174 | 55% |
| Smokes | 7844 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 5103 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 2629 | 8% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,462,083 of utility $81 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2738 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MRJ | 62% | 50 |
| #2 | antonchik2009 | 53% | 366 |
| #3 | ex0tiic | 52% | 322 |
| #4 | President cornholio | 52% | 221 |
| #5 | Pena | 46% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MRJ | 62% | 50 |
| #2 | antonchik2009 | 53% | 366 |
| #3 | ex0tiic | 52% | 322 |
| #4 | President cornholio | 52% | 221 |
| #5 | Pena | 46% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | antonchik2009 | 39 | 0.0050 |
| #2 | ex0tiic | 17 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | MRJ | 9 | 0.0083 |
| #4 | Pena | 5 | 0.0038 |
| #5 | President cornholio | 3 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ex0tiic | 1214 | 0.18 | 33 min |
| #2 | antonchik2009 | 766 | 0.10 | 17 min |
| #3 | President cornholio | 138 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #4 | MRJ | 89 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | Pena | 85 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ex0tiic | +2.31 | 85 | 70 |
| #2 | MRJ | +2.19 | 84 | 36 |
| #3 | antonchik2009 | +0.96 | 93 | 52 |
| #4 | Ramus | +0.43 | 75 | 65 |
| #5 | President cornholio | +0.40 | 79 | 46 |





