








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 777 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 152 matches | ||
| Faceit | 43 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2167 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,341 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1029 | 16% |
| Smokes | 1607 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2086 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 1619 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,019,065 of utility $207 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 71 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wiNz | 56% | 16 |
| #2 | pupsu | 55% | 56 |
| #3 | mee itte töihin | 54% | 13 |
| #4 | lukis | 50% | 28 |
| #5 | ✪ kniz | 48% | 111 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Tepri | 44% | 27 |
| #9 | Tsikidi | 43% | 108 |
| #10 | MöLy | 42% | 57 |
| #11 | Eddu the builder (800x600) | 40% | 15 |
| #12 | Norppadi | 34% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ kniz | 25 | 0.0104 |
| #2 | Lungi | 10 | 0.0080 |
| #3 | pupsu | 10 | 0.0081 |
| #4 | Norppadi | 8 | 0.0054 |
| #5 | Tsikidi | 7 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Make ツ | 224 | 0.21 | 7 min |
| #2 | Tsikidi | 214 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #3 | Lungi | 202 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #4 | pupsu | 192 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #5 | ✪ kniz | 169 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wiNz | +3.00 | 64 | 66 |
| #2 | Lungi | +2.55 | 76 | 71 |
| #3 | ✪ kniz | +0.98 | 76 | 42 |
| #4 | lukis | +0.54 | 78 | 38 |
| #5 | MöLy | +0.54 | 84 | 57 |





