








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 453 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 120 matches | ||
| Premier | 30 matches | ||
| Wingman | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 44 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2831 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,475 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2924 | 39% |
| Smokes | 2106 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 809 | 11% |
| Molotovs | 1636 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $590,809 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 166 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tr@sHeR | 73% | 11 |
| #2 | RF_Maka | 62% | 13 |
| #3 | notProxy | 59% | 122 |
| #4 | nkrZwh | 58% | 24 |
| #5 | k4zzii | 55% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | ShyRa | 54% | 65 |
| #8 | nemoo_ | 52% | 52 |
| #9 | Flan de la Jontaine | 51% | 35 |
| #10 | Bot yoshi | 49% | 65 |
| #11 | Crozer | 33% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | notProxy | 8 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | Bot yoshi | 7 | 0.0052 |
| #3 | ShyRa | 3 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | Flan de la Jontaine | 3 | 0.0041 |
| #5 | k4zzii | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | notProxy | 696 | 0.27 | 18 min |
| #2 | ShyRa | 314 | 0.22 | 7 min |
| #3 | Crozer | 179 | 0.30 | 6 min |
| #4 | nemoo_ | 167 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #5 | nkrZwh | 131 | 0.24 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Drope | +3.66 | 87 | 65 |
| #2 | ShyRa | +1.87 | 89 | 59 |
| #3 | nemoo_ | +0.09 | 85 | 57 |
| #4 | notProxy | -0.04 | 71 | 65 |
| #5 | nkrZwh | -0.63 | 61 | 71 |





