








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 391 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 237 matches | ||
| Premier | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3305 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,102 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3629 | 28% |
| Smokes | 3235 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2927 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 3311 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $558,198 of utility $78 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 38 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | echo_^ | 70% | 40 |
| #2 | Salamander | 69% | 54 |
| #3 | Freeman. | 65% | 23 |
| #4 | LoafCat | 63% | 287 |
| #5 | Sah | 60% | 131 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Freeman. | 65% | 23 |
| #4 | LoafCat | 63% | 287 |
| #5 | Sah | 60% | 131 |
| #6 | auti_ | 58% | 243 |
| #7 | ThyDuckLord | 54% | 151 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | auti_ | 8 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | LoafCat | 7 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | Sah | 6 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | ThyDuckLord | 4 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | echo_^ | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LoafCat | 1571 | 0.26 | 37 min |
| #2 | ThyDuckLord | 795 | 0.25 | 21 min |
| #3 | Salamander | 566 | 0.50 | 16 min |
| #4 | auti_ | 471 | 0.09 | 10 min |
| #5 | Sah | 396 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LoafCat | +2.21 | 74 | 67 |
| #2 | cs_stix | +1.69 | 85 | 65 |
| #3 | echo_^ | +1.06 | 85 | 65 |
| #4 | Salamander | -0.00 | 71 | 87 |
| #5 | auti_ | -0.37 | 85 | 57 |





