








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 458 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 198 matches | ||
| Premier | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3312 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,761 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2470 | 28% |
| Smokes | 2437 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1727 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2127 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,053,916 of utility $189 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 131 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Freeman. | 58% | 143 |
| #7 | Salamander | 58% | 201 |
| #8 | discoRyne | 57% | 91 |
| #9 | MegaMatt | 55% | 100 |
| #10 | Izz | 45% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | discoRyne | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | Salamander | 2 | 0.0005 |
| #3 | MegaMatt | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | Freeman. | 1 | 0.0003 |
| #5 | auti_ | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Salamander | 1463 | 0.33 | 42 min |
| #2 | discoRyne | 620 | 0.29 | 17 min |
| #3 | LoafCat | 468 | 0.17 | 11 min |
| #4 | Freeman. | 433 | 0.14 | 10 min |
| #5 | MegaMatt | 277 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LoafCat | +1.70 | 69 | 68 |
| #2 | echo_^ | +1.60 | 86 | 61 |
| #3 | dasmako | +1.46 | 87 | 68 |
| #4 | cs_stix | +1.11 | 82 | 61 |
| #5 | Freeman. | +0.44 | 83 | 67 |





