








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 685 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 122 matches | ||
| Premier | 74 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3049 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,720 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2561 | 26% |
| Smokes | 3039 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1993 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2127 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,311,618 of utility $196 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 509 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cs_stix | 60% | 131 |
| #2 | LoafCat | 59% | 133 |
| #3 | auti_ | 59% | 133 |
| #4 | ThyDuckLord | 59% | 116 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cs_stix | 60% | 131 |
| #2 | LoafCat | 59% | 133 |
| #3 | auti_ | 59% | 133 |
| #4 | ThyDuckLord | 59% | 116 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | auti_ | 6 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | LoafCat | 5 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | cs_stix | 4 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | ThyDuckLord | 3 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LoafCat | 796 | 0.28 | 18 min |
| #2 | ThyDuckLord | 617 | 0.25 | 16 min |
| #3 | cs_stix | 425 | 0.15 | 10 min |
| #4 | auti_ | 314 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LoafCat | +1.95 | 75 | 65 |
| #2 | cs_stix | +1.79 | 88 | 66 |
| #3 | Sah | +1.48 | 81 | 63 |
| #4 | ThyDuckLord | -0.30 | 64 | 61 |
| #5 | auti_ | -0.35 | 86 | 56 |





