








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1223 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 599 matches | ||
| Premier | 149 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 68 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
11661 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 37,779 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9599 | 25% |
| Smokes | 10275 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 8738 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 9167 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,621,429 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 768 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | discoRyne | 77% | 53 |
| #2 | thiS | 68% | 78 |
| #3 | CHEEF QUEEF | 67% | 55 |
| #4 | dasmako | 66% | 108 |
| #5 | cs_stix | 63% | 287 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Sah | 59% | 133 |
| #9 | Freeman. | 58% | 220 |
| #10 | Salamander | 58% | 358 |
| #11 | ThyDuckLord | 57% | 174 |
| #12 | auti_ | 57% | 649 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | auti_ | 13 | 0.0010 |
| #2 | discoRyne | 11 | 0.0099 |
| #3 | cs_stix | 8 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | MegaMatt | 6 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | Sah | 6 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Salamander | 2849 | 0.38 | 85 min |
| #2 | auti_ | 993 | 0.07 | 21 min |
| #3 | MegaMatt | 992 | 0.19 | 21 min |
| #4 | cs_stix | 948 | 0.16 | 21 min |
| #5 | ThyDuckLord | 915 | 0.25 | 23 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LoafCat | +2.81 | 74 | 65 |
| #2 | cs_stix | +1.36 | 85 | 65 |
| #3 | echo_^ | +1.31 | 86 | 62 |
| #4 | thiS | +1.20 | 73 | 43 |
| #5 | discoRyne | +0.93 | 66 | 80 |





