








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 81 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Premier | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1100 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,788 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 960 | 17% |
| Smokes | 1403 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1683 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1742 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $115,239 of utility $36 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 199 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | travis | 51% | 85 |
| #2 | Slit Sniffer | 46% | 13 |
| #3 | Ummm | 45% | 11 |
| #4 | Petrified Fry | 44% | 61 |
| #5 | Travis | 39% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | travis | 51% | 85 |
| #2 | Slit Sniffer | 46% | 13 |
| #3 | Ummm | 45% | 11 |
| #4 | Petrified Fry | 44% | 61 |
| #5 | Travis | 39% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | travis | 5 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | Petrified Fry | 5 | 0.0044 |
| #3 | Slit Sniffer | 2 | 0.0076 |
| #4 | Travis | 1 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | travis | 163 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #2 | Travis | 35 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #3 | Slit Sniffer | 24 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| #4 | Ummm | 19 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | Petrified Fry | 12 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | travis | +3.97 | 72 | 56 |
| #2 | Ummm | +2.54 | 89 | 43 |
| #3 | Slit Sniffer | +1.70 | 55 | 31 |
| #4 | Travis | +1.17 | 60 | 55 |
| #5 | Kohut124 | -1.30 | 45 | 51 |





