








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
110 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 234 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 76 | 32% |
| Smokes | 46 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 68 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 44 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $50,642 of utility $136 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nX | 67% | 3 |
| #2 | JASE | 47% | 15 |
| #3 | Destan^* | 14% | 7 |
| #4 | holy n worf | 0% | 2 |
| #5 | JK-47 | 0% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | JASE | 47% | 15 |
| #3 | Destan^* | 14% | 7 |
| #4 | holy n worf | 0% | 2 |
| #5 | JK-47 | 0% | 2 |
| #6 | finals mvp mavs in 7 | 0% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Destan^* | 1 | 0.0068 |
| #2 | nX | 1 | 0.0182 |
| #3 | holy n worf | 1 | 0.0185 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JASE | 50 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #2 | Destan^* | 45 | 0.31 | 1 min |
| #3 | nX | 5 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| #4 | finals mvp mavs in 7 | 4 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| #5 | holy n worf | 4 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | holy n worf | +5.33 | 65 | 52 |
| #2 | nX | +2.70 | 68 | 67 |
| #3 | Destan^* | +2.06 | 79 | 59 |
| #4 | JASE | -0.56 | 63 | 46 |
| #5 | finals mvp mavs in 7 | -0.83 | 64 | 15 |





